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Software Support

We can fix that...

If you have encountered difficulties with an Alchemy Mindworks product, we're here to help. In order to respond to your support request in a timely manner — and to provide us with all the information we require to address your problem — we ask that you complete the following form.

This form should be used if you have encountered one of the following classes of issues:

  • Trouble installing your software — seeing an error message or your registration code not being accepted.
  • A failure of your software to operate in any way.
  • Any sort of software crash, unexpected error message or suggestions that there might be gremlins afoot.
  • You need assistance using an Alchemy Mindworks product.

This form should not be used if you are encountering one of the following classes of problems:

  • A lost registration key. See The Lost Registration Key Finder to get your key back.
  • Non-receipt of your order confirmation message or ordered software. Visit our on-line order status page and we'll sort it out immediately.
  • Problems with or comments about our web page, or other on-line features. Please send us some e-mail.

The highlighted fields below are required — your request will not be delivered if any of them are blank or unselected.

Name:
 
  We ask that you use your real name in this field. We promise to keep it confidential. We have a hard time addressing someone who identifies him- or herself as "Rambo," "SpyderGawd," "Kid Deth" and so on and pretending that we're having a serious conversation with a grown-up.
E-mail address:
 
  Please be certain to double-check your e-mail address. If it's incorrect, we won't be able to reply to your message and you'll think we're inconsiderate swine. You'll probably tell all your friends bad things about us, we'll have to send our leather-winged demon of the night to eat your pancreas... all in all, an ugly outcome for a minor typo.
Application:
 
  Select the application you're contacting us about. Note that support is no longer available for Alchemy Mindworks' legacy applications. We're only able to assist you with the software listed in the field above.
Registered:
 
  Alchemy Mindworks will, at our discretion, provide reasonable technical support to users of unregistered copies of our software to the extent necessary to evaluate them. Keep in mind that we maintain a database of all the registered users of our software. If we check it and you turn out to have been fibbing, we probably won't be getting back to you any time soon.
Registration name:
 
  Complete this field if you selected Yes in the previous field. Enter your registration name as it was provided when you registered the software in question. Your registration name may differ from the name in the address to which we shipped your software. Registration names consist of exactly two words, separated by a space.
Registration key:
 
  Complete this field if you entered your registration name in the previous field. This will be a twenty-character code of the form ABCDE-FGHIJ-KLMNO-PQRST for applications, or a seventeen-character code of the form 12345-67-89012-34 for plugins. If you're looking for assistance with a registration key problem or detailed support for an Alchemy Mindworks application, please be sure to complete this field correctly.
Version:
 
  Look in the About window for the software you're requesting assistance with. The version number will be a number, a decimal point, another number and a letter. The name of the file you downloaded, the file size, the file date and the color of your late aunt Blothelda's prize-winning geraniums are all unworkable substitutes for the version number.
Revision level:
 
  Look in the About window of your software for a revision level. It will be near the version number, typically just below or next to the name of the application. This number is important, in that if you're encountering a problem with an earlier release of the software in question, we might have subsequently addressed it.
Computer:
 
  The name on the front will do if it's one we're likely to have heard of. If you're using something peculiar or home-made, we'll leave the description to your discretion. At the very least, the type and speed of the processor lurking therein would be of inestimable help.
Memory:
 
  Note that this is not the same as the size of your hard drive. Contemporary PCs typically have one gigabyte or more of memory — usually a lot more. If yours has less memory than this, you've probably just ascertained the cause of whatever problem you're contacting us about.
Windows:
 
  All versions of Windows are perfectly interchangeable, and all run the same software. In addition, Elvis is alive, rocks weighing less than eleven pounds fall upward on alternate Tuesdays during months with an R in them and elected officials never lie.
Other applications:
 
  Please list any other applications you had running when the problem you're contacting us about happened. Be sure to try to reproduce the problem with all these applications terminated, and mention the results in the Problems field, below. In listing other running applications, don't forget to include Nortons, background tasks, virus checkers, shells and so on. Enter "None" in this field if there was nothing else running on your system when the problem you're contacting us about occured.
Guidelines:
 
  Select Yes to indicate that you have read and agreed to the support guidelines and legal dogma at the bottom of this page, and any other documents referenced herein. The lawyers made us say this... honest.
Do you play the oboe?
 
  This one's a bit perplexing, isn't it? You really have to wonder why we'd ask such a question. We could be conducting some sort of statistical research — save that our stated privacy policy would prevent our doing so — or this could have a deeper meaning understood only by an elite intelligencia. Alternately, it could just be an odd question. Give it your best shot.
Message:
  Here's where you can actually enter the text of your message. In doing so, we ask that you keep in mind that while there certainly are people who work at Alchemy Mindworks and claim to be clairvoyant — not that we wholly believe them in this respect — it's a bad idea to assume that one of them will respond to your e-mail.

IMPORTANT: Please explain what you're inquiring about in detail. If you encountered an error message, quote its entire text. We ask that you not use a screen capture as a substitute for describing your problem.

We would also like to take this opportunity to observe that while software issues can be frustrating at times, it's a mistake to take them personally. Addressing our support people in a rude or abusive manner isn't likely to get your question answered.

Our support staff will be profoundly grateful if you refrain from communicating with us in all-caps text.

This field can hold up to 6000 characters.

SUPPORT GUIDELINES: When we reply to your support request, and you reply to our reply — a phenomenon referred to as a "message thread" — please quote your entire message thread with each reply. In addition, be sure to quote the entire unmodified original message form contents, and do not delete or modify the Subject field of the message thread. Please send no more than one response to our reply. Should you fail to quote your message thread, our internal mail routing software won't know where to send your message, and the staff member with whom you communicate won't be able to continue your support session. Our support staff don't have access to previous, deleted messages — if you don't quote your message thread, it never happened.

In contacting us for assistance with technical matters, we ask that you state your questions as clearly and simply as possible, using no all-caps text, jargon, abbreviations or other bits we're unlikely to understand. We're pleased to assist you, but doing so will be somewhat tricky if we don't know what you're asking.

LEGAL DOGMA: All information submitted through this form will be treated in confidence, in accordance with the terms of our privacy policy. Alchemy Mindworks accepts no responsibility for any loss, damage or expense arising from your use of this page, or from advice or information provided by Alchemy Mindworks in response to your use of this page, however it occurs. By clicking on the submit button, below, you indicate that you accept these terms and that you indemnify and hold blameless Alchemy Mindworks and all its stockholders and suppliers from any monetary costs including attorney's fees and court costs arising out of your use of this page and any information provided by it. You further assert that you are the individual or the legitimate representative of the organization indicated above, and that you have a legitimate right to request the information to be provided by this page. Alchemy Mindworks may, at its discretion, seek civil and/or criminal penalties for parties misusing this page or information provided by it. The availability of this page does not constitute an assurance or contract on the part of Alchemy Mindworks to provide the information described herein. Any comments or information that you provide to Alchemy Mindworks, for example feedback or ideas, suggestions, concepts, or other information (collectively, the "Submissions"), shall be deemed, and shall remain, the property of Alchemy Mindworks. None of the Submissions shall be subject to any obligation of confidence on the part of Alchemy Mindworks, and Alchemy Mindworks shall not be liable for any use or disclosure (including publication in any medium) of any Submissions. Without limitation of the foregoing, Alchemy Mindworks shall exclusively own all now known or hereafter existing rights to the Submissions of every kind and nature and shall be entitled to unrestricted use of the Submissions for any purpose, commercial or otherwise, without compensation to the provider of the Submissions. By completing this form and/or clicking on the Submit button, you are agreeing to be bound by the Alchemy Mindworks Privacy Statement and the Alchemy Mindworks Terms and Conditions document, which are deemed to be included herein by reference. The lawyers made us say that too.